When Dummy meets Crazy...and I don't feel sorry for either

(AP Photo)

Look at this picture and tell me what's the first thing that comes to mind...I bet my brothas are saying damn dude got caught up...and I bet my sistas are saying...and she's not even cute!!!...All of this among other things. This sounds like a some lifetime movie. Since, I can't quite pinpoint which one, I'm going to name it...when Dummy Meets Crazy.

As you all know, Former 36 year old NFL MVP and Tennessee Titans QB Steve McNair was killed by his 20 year old girlfriend Crazy Bitch...I meant Sahel Kazemi. Apparently she was distraught that she wasn't the only other woman and that Steve wasn't paying her bills because of course the No.2 (maybe No. 3 but she wanted to be No. 1) woman is entitled to get her bills paid. Kazemi had told friends "[her] life was a ball of shit" and that she "wanted to end it."

So she did...and his too. Two shots to the dome and two to the chest while he was sleeping...in his condo. And because her life was so doomed (those credit repair agencies really need to step up their advertising in Nashville) she went out Juliet style and shot herself too so she could fall into his lap. Except in the story, Romeo isn't married.

OK she was nuts...and yes ladies she wasn't even cute. So he cheated on his wife (a former nurse who used to treat his injuries, sound like Waiting to Exhale?) with four kids (two that aren't hers) for an average crazy chick who couldn't even legally get drunk. She's clearly Crazy but he's clearly a Dummy. This post clearly shows I have no sympathy for him. I usually don't judge cheaters for the morality of their actions except for the fact that if they cheat they should have the guts to leave their partner but isn't this the ultimate punishment? Til death do us part and if you part on the sly, death will do you....

Well not usually...while still terrible, you are an absolute fool to cheat on your wife with an immature 20 year old waitress. He bought her an escalade she clearly couldn't pay for and spent so much time with her that she became delusional. I can tell you that he probably knew she was crazy but he was caught up and did the dumbest thing possible...you can't just up and leave a crazy bitch! You have to get a crazy bitch to leave you. Oh, and you definitely don't leave a crazy woman for another woman and then go to sleep around her? Lorena Bobbit ring a bell? He should have been sleep with a helmet and a bullet proof vest...but again he probably knew all this and he was doomed...he cheated on his wife and had no real way to get out without blowing up his spot.

One thing to take from this is that when you do bad things you have no idea what the consequences will be. Most people have no problem doing something wrong if they think they won't get caught or can accept the consequences that usually goes along with it. In my opinion it's a flawed logic. While we like to label things bad and really bad and absolutely horrible..they all get put in one group of things you just should not do. Deceptive wrongdoing is like trying to drive down a road you think you know with the lights off. One wrong turn could lead to a crash and you may run off the road at any time. After awhile you have no idea where you are. In this case, he jumped in the Escalade turned off the lights and hoped nobody would find him....and he even let the crazy bitch drive....straight into a tree.

Ethan Frome style.

"It was mediocre. I give it a D."

As I headed to the Nationals baseball game on friday night, me and my boy Ralph were having one of our usual "in-depth" conversations about the black community and how it can move forward. So during our convo, Ralph mentions that there was a screening of "Black in America 2" at Howard a couple nights ago and a panel had a discussion after the viewing. Now I also have issues with the premise of black in america being a 4 hour documentary but that may be for another blog at another time. Anyway, he also mentioned there was an article about the event in Howard's student newspaper "Hilltop". So he forwarded me the article.

As I skimmed through the article there was one quote that truly stood out to me. A lot of the panels at the events were older people (over 30) and there were many younger people in the crowd asking questions about the divide between the older generation and young generation's views on how to move Black America forward in the future. But the quote about what a young woamn in the audience thought of the documentary. She said,"It was mediocre. I give it a D."

Now the first thing that came to my mind when I first read it was I must have misread the quote. So i scanned back and read it again and sure enough, that's was what she said. Now me and Ralph have been having arguments on what the steps we need to take to make the African-American experience as better in this country and we talked about the justice system, politics, education and family structure just to name a few. But after reading that quote, I realize that if we are teaching our young people that a D grade is mediocre, we are already failing. If D is mediocre, Is C good? Is B excellent? Is A not even attainable?

I think we already need to have a conversation on what our standards of excellence will be as African-Americans. Will we ask of our children the least amount and except to be give Affirmative Action because of years past? Are we just have to get a high school diploma or GED and feel like its owned to us to get a job? Going to college and doing well in school was next a question in my house. My parents expected excellence in everything I did and did not alway me to settle for less then that. Even though I may have not always achieved the best because I tried hard I was always able to be better than "mediocre".

Maybe this young woman didn't really know what mediocre meant or misspoke to the interviewer but if we allow mediocre to be our benchmark, we are bound to fail for a long time.

"Cuz we ain't neva gonna be shit"

This topic has been on my mind for almost 2 years now and this is the first time I have decide to post my thoughts for others to see and comment. Earlier this evening, I was having a conversation with a friend about the county that we both grew up in, Prince George's in Maryland. Back in the early 90's, PG county was one of the most affluent counties for African-Americans to live in the United States. As the gentrification of Washington DC has rose since the late 90s and this millennium, a lot of black people that were displaced from Columbia Heights and parts of Southeast DC to PG county. Today there was a vote to veto the building of a new soccer stadium for the DC United in PG county. My friend is a soccer fan (one of the few African-American fan I know) so I know it broke his heart to see it fall through but we also had a discussion on how the county has been deteriorating since we were in school there. It is the second worst school district in the state of Maryland and many businesses have been discouraged to open up shops here. Anyway, to wrap up the conversation my friend said "I hate PG county". I asked him "why?", and he said "Cuz we ain't neva going to be shit". The "we" he was referring to are black people in the US. I was a little miffed because currently the most powerful man in the United State is black and there are many success stories of African-Americans all over the country. Yet, the majority of the headlines you hear in the media about blacks are the high drug disease and crime rates that affect blacks and the communities thy live in. So I have always wondered, why is there always references to the "black community" and "we"? I understand the whole slavery thing and how because we were taken from Africa and mixed all together we are all "family" now. I think that people have to come to the realization that no matter how much the country change and things improve for the majority of black people, they will always be a section of people who will not do the right things and reflect a bad image on themselves. My biggest question is will there ever be a point where the majority of black people who are doing the right things will say "Look, I know here are some coons in the community, but they don't reflect me or what I want to be"? Most white people in America are judged individually, and they are quick to throw there family and friends under the bus if they are not doing right. Will there ever come a time were it's acceptable in the black community to do the same thing? I feel I personally have an obligation to try and be a productive citizen in society and help people who may not have the same opportunities I had when I grew up. I also feel that people need to be accountable for there own actions and I shouldn't be judged or to back someone who is doing wrong because they are my family or friend.

Better TV role models if only for a couple episodes

Last night, I was looking through my shows that I record throughout the week and I saw two pleasant suprises. Two of my favorite black actors have been introduced on two of my favorite shows.

Gabrielle Union is the partner for lead character Charlie Crews on the TV series Life. If you don't watch Life, it's about a police officer who is framed for murder, goes to jail, is then exonerated in which he recieves a large sum of money from the department plus a new job as detective on the police force. On and while in jail for about ten to fifteen years he also becomes a Zen Buddhist which provides the quirkiness to his character and is the only reason the show has any merit versus the ton of detective shows out there.

But Union will be playing his new partner while they send his old partner on another arc. Union's character Sara Seever is an overachiever, who can do almost anything, is extremely intelligent and prepared, and doesn't make mistakes. And if you didn't know she's also GORGEOUS.

Also, in the TV series The Office, Idris Elba (The Wire, Daddy's Little Girls alongside Union) is introduced as Charles Miner, the new regional Vice President in place of Jan and Ryan. The big difference is Elba is a very practical, no nonsense manager. He doesn't defer to Michael Scott (Steve Carrell) or even find him amusing. His presence is so large and looming that he actually makes Scott feel emasculated which drives the theme of the show.

I'm happy to see Hollywood cast these actors this week in both of these shows. Union for one has complained publicly about the lack of roles for black actors and actresses in Hollywood. I mean, I think personally until we start making our own movies and doing them well we will always have that problem because the media portrayal of our race actually portends into alot of places where the living room is the only place you see black people. But it still is important to note, that whether regional VP or hot shot detective, these roles can be played aptly by black actors and actresses.

Union has typically been put in roles where she is the snobby, sassy black girl and Elba is characterized as the tough, strong black man. I can't say that either one is taking a big step out of the roles that are comfortable for them but they may be taking a step out of the setting.

Contrary to what the radio says you should not be "Always Strapped"

I 'm listening to the radio the other day and I hear this new song by Lil Wayne and Baby.  The beat is kinda hot and the flow is ok, but of course being the educated, intellectual black man that I am, the first time I'm going to try to listen to what they lyrics are about.  Sounds like the usual song about stuntin' and how everybody loves me because I have more money than you.  I don't pay it much attention until the DJ announces the title..."Always Strapped."  

Always Strapped - Birdman Ft. Lil Wayne

Then it all starts to come together.  Watch out because even though at the beginning of the song when I said I was completely richer than you will ever be, I have to be always strapped.  While I'm hugging these chicks that love me for my money, that poke you feel is defintely not my microphone or how glad I am to see you.

Sigh, I'm not mad at Weezy and Baby.  I'm old enough to be used to this crap we call music.  I won't buy the CD, download or be attending the concert anytime soon.  I'm not even mad at the people for listening it, because that's deeper concern that I can't address in this one post.

Who I am fed up with is the radio stations that play it.  Rappers can make whatever music they want.  This is not a rant against the artists, (haha, I'm sorry I thought it would be funny to say that) they put an explicit content label on it like they should and then it's on the parents to do their job of not allowing it to get in their kids' hands.  This is also not a rant against the people who listen to it.  Popular culture is pervasive and addictive;  many people feel that they have to listen and buy into it because they don't want to feel left out of what everybody else wants to do.

But this is the flat out the wrong message for an urban radio station to be sending.  The Washington, D.C. area is hit so many times per year by gun violence especially at bars and nightclubs by brothas who are 'always strapped'.  What if that person mugged you and he wasn't strapped?  Maybe you just throw a punch?  Maybe you do nothing at all like you should.  I have a buddy who talks about he wishes he had a gun because he could guarantee he wouldn't be robbed.  I hate to tell you, but having a gun on you at all times is mostly an offensive measure because if somebody wants to shoot you with a handgun they probably will.  Random gun battles aren't something you see everyday, because usually the other guy gets blasted before anything pops off.  This is not the wild, wild west where it's ten paces then shoot.

Everytime someone gets shot who wasn't supposed to (and by that I mean ones not involved in drug related shootings like kids or random bystanders at the club) the local radio stations put on the serious tone.  They start talking about stopping the violence, but they still play these songs that glorify it.  I remember back in college when a little girl was killed by a stray bullet and the Russ Parr show is having some special to talk about it then they play the song "Don't Want No Drama".  The chorus goes:

"Bust a nigga head, slap a hoe, shoot the club up" 

Be consistent, send the message every day and every minute.  Play the songs that inspire positive behavior in your community.  If you can't do that, then you need to play some kind of victory music when somebody gets shot because it has come to the point where they play more negative than positive music.  Instead of playing 'Always Strapped', maybe you could find some songs that talk about things we should always be doing.  Here's my top ten.

1. Always wear a condom (there's the best kind of strapped, if not see number 5 or see a doctor)
2. Always paying attention in class
3. Always keeping my cool
4. Always watching what I eat
5. Always taking care of my kids
6. Always using the right language in public
7. Always coming to work on time
8. Always saving money
9. Always wearing clothes that fit
10. Always respect our women

And if anything I said above made you mad, join the club because I get mad just looking at you.   If your tired of hearing about people glorifying what we 'Always shouldn't do" feel free to add to my list.